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CrystalQuest Adventures

…towards equipping the total man!

A call to serve!

It is against the recent backlash on a governor of a state in my country that referred to himself as the ”constituted authority” that I was able to fully convince a friend that most African leaders do not really see leadership as a call to serve but more like a pathway to fame and fortune. They either have a twisted understanding of what leadership entails or simply lack the moral fortitude for genuine service especially those with seemingly credible credentials. They seek for power, just for the vainglory and use it as a tool to oppress those they promised to serve.

Mark 10:4… ”For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

The above is one verse of the scripture that truly captures the essence of leadership. Leadership is service. Service is giving one’s life. Giving one’s life is inspiring and inspiration is influence. When your followers realize your willingness to go the extra mile, they know you care and are inspired to do what it takes to follow your lead and accomplish the stated vision and objectives. When a leader is humble, sincere and has a great deal of empathy, serving comes natural even as these basic ingredients will not just determine how great the leader will be but the three Hs will also be factors that will endear the followers to such a leader.


Humility: leadership is about service. Even the Bible declares in Matthew 23:11 that the one who serves is actually the greatest, but the common low self esteem, troubled childhood and shallow mindedness of most of these leaders fuels their unquenchable thirst for self aggrandizement. What they lack in self esteem and humility, they tend to make up for by stupendous wealth acquisitions and self glorification. A leader will always be a true servant at heart and it takes humility to really lower oneself and sincerely serve.


Honesty: It is a fact that people do not care how much you know till they realize how much you care. Probity and transparency should always be key in every leader’s philosophy. When a leader is truly humble and sincere, accountability will never be an issue. Even when true leaders make mistakes, they are quick to admit and apologize if need be. Because their followers sees their hearts, they are inspired by their ways and many try to live right too, their leaders being worthy role models.


Humanity: Being human is also being able to acknowledge one’s imperfections. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and every good leader tries as much as they can to maximize their strengths and surround themselves with credible leaders that will compensate for their weaknesses. This would also prompt them to show empathy with the individual’s situation and enable them make room for their followers’ weaknesses. They will not be quick to assume, judge or condemn but offer the much needed listening ear and always be sympathetic to the plight of their followers.

Leadership skills can be innate or acquired and cultivated. Whenever, wherever, however a leader emerges. Qualified or lacking the requisite leadership skills, deserving or not deserving, any leader that possesses these three attributes would sure have a clearer shot at greatness.

Happy Democracy day!

Better late than never!

As a child who grew up attending Sunday School classes, the mention of the name Samson, even without reading the Bible would instantly remind you of that story you must have heard countless times about that great man who lost it all on the laps of a Delilah. A man that failed to fulfill God’s purpose for his life. But I once stumbled on a portion of Hebrews 11 that made me revisit the story and re-examine his life with a much more open mind and a broader perspective of the overall picture of Samson.

Judges 13, 14, 15 and 16 tells the overall summary of Samson’s life. His chequered story is a classic tale of exuberance, moral weakness, reckless pride and last minute redemption. He was born as a result of God’s plan to rescue Israel from the Philistines. He was given enormous physical strength and had tremendous potential but inspite of his brilliant credentials, he wasted his strength on practical jokes, getting in and out of fights and eventually gave it all up to satisfy a woman. Yes! Samson wasted his life but how did this so called waster of destiny ended up in the Hebrews 11 faith’s hall of fame?

I realized that inspite of his many mistakes, pride (Judges 15:16) and willful disobedience, Samson’s heart turned to the Lord while imprisoned by the same Philistines he was meant to deliver Israel from. He was humbled. He prayed to God—a first—and God answered. Samson finally recognized his dependence on God in the end and when he died, God turned his failures and defeats into victory even though he had to pay with his life.

One vital lesson is that, however badly we may have failed God in the past, it is never too late to start over. God’s mercy never fails. Ever faithful, ever sure. Samson returned to God at the very end of his life and was counted victory for him. He was listed in Hebrews 11:32-40 among those who “through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice (evidenced by Judges 15:20), and gained what was promised… whose weakness was turned to strength.” For a man who seems to have missed it, that for sure is a resounding eulogy!

The power of habits!

Our habits have been generally described as being the product of two shaping forces. One is the narratives that people are nurtured on and how those narratives feed their imaginations one way or another. The other is the context in which people grow up, which has a huge impact on how they see the world and others.

The context (culture) is the sum total of the physical and human environment of nurture. It has a great deal to do with the geography, the moral, cultural values and norms of a people. The narratives (nurture) are the emotional and social factors that shapes how we see ourselves, think, react and relate to situations and how we generally view and treat others. This is often influenced by reactive and proactive reactions to conversations, events, relationships and the overall attitude of a people towards everything in life.

Man is always a product of his habits. Who we are and what we accomplish depends largely on a vast network of routines and behaviours that we carry out with little or no thought whatsoever. Habits are the brain’s own internal productivity drivers. Constantly striving for more efficiency, the brain quickly transforms as many tasks and behaviours as possible into habits so that we can do them without thinking, thus freeing up more brainpower to tackle new challenges.

A man’s habits therefore determines his productivity and effectiveness to a very large extent. Whatever advances a man’s habits will seriously enhance his overall self and so make him a better person. Not much can be done about the culture factor since we really do not have a say over who gave birth to us and where, but for the nurture, it is pertinent to diligently seek and adopt the right kind of influence even when our nurture projects otherwise.

A flawed nurture can be balanced by the sagacity to critically analyse situations and draw the right lessons. All it takes to reinvent oneself is the right kind of knowledge and the sheer will and determination to be different. We can decide to either live reactively and let our nurture determine our lot in life or live proactively, turning the stumbling blocks in our nurture to stepping stones and ultimately becoming success stories. The choice is ours!

Sell something!

God has created each and everyone of us with unique abilities and gifts and you can not make impact in life if you can not sell them. Your visions, ideas, talents and skills will translate to nothing if you can not properly harness and market them. Making impact is simply trying to identify specific need(s) and meeting them with specific products and/or services. Selling is trying to persuade someone to enjoy your solution to such needs. Whether you realize it or not, everyone is in the business of selling and those that make the greatest impact are usually those that did not just discover and advance their talents and abilities early in life but also develop and deliberately work at increasing their selling capabilities.

Selling affects all areas of our lives. As we grow older and strive to fulfill destiny, we consciously and/or unconsciously reflect our values, attitudes, behaviours, dreams, ideas, products and services in our relationships, careers, finances etc. We can either proactively carve and create outstanding brands out of ourselves and what we are about or reactively go with the tide and be tossed around by the winds of life. Those who want to leave their footprints on the sands of time will do well to adopt the best of life’s survival strategies and thrive exceedingly.

Learning how to learn is one sure strategy for survival especially because man is a product of his ‘head’ and his ‘heart’ and feeding both with life changing, impact making principles will require a deliberate love for learning. Learning broadens your understanding and increases your knowledge and then comes wisdom to navigate life’s murky waters and make great impact. Selling is a skill that can be learnt and your love for learning will definitely be a big booster to acquiring time-tested selling skills.

Passion and curiosity are also key elements to thriving in life. An inquisitive mind will strive for answers and in its quest become wiser. The wiser you become, the easier for you to sell yourself. Passion will help you remain dogged. You will never give up on what you are passionate about. Curiosity will drive you to seek and passion will sustain and strengthen you till you break even and eventually explode.

When Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said ”you will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read”, he was basically emphasizing how the books you read and your ability to network can make or mar you in life. As you read and expand your knowledge base, you also need to master the art of meeting people and networking as this will enable you to leverage other people’s strenghts and capitalize on their experiences. How well you relate and sell yourself to people will go a long way in determining how far you will go in life. When you are honest, caring and authentic, people will love you and embrace your message. You will become a big influence and make so much impact that even your finances will be better for it. Be deliberate about life and do not sell yourself short!

God’s got it all in control!

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I was on my way to church this morning when my car broke down. I was about to negotiate a bend when one of my front tyres stepped on a sharp pebble that I did not even realize was there and ‘boom’, there goes my tyre! While I was waiting for it to be fixed, I reflected on how puzzling life can actually be especially because the first thought that came to my mind was how God would allow this to happen on my way to church. The same reason people always wonder why bad things happen to good people. As I kept turning it all in my mind, I recalled Psalm 23:4 [Even though I walk through the (sunless) valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod (to protect) and Your staff (to guide), they comfort and console me. AMP] and then it hit me! God has a way of making all things work together for our good [Romans 8:28]. HE never sleeps nor slumbers, even in the midst of our adversities. Like the shepherd’s rod that was meant to chastise the sheep when they want to stray, there is the deliberate underlying protection the rod provides. The seeming rebuke is more like a safety measure that keeps them from harm. And then again the shepherd’s staff is always there to guide and direct the sheep.

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In the midst of life’s overwhelming turbulence, God’s rod (protection) and staff (guidance) would always be a sure source of comfort and direction. Serious challenges of life and even little hitches like my tyre issue can actually be God’s preventive or safety measures for the overall good of His children. God often uses the foolish things of this world to show His mighty works [1Corinthians 1:27]. That is why He commanded us to give thanks in all situations [1Thessalonians 5:18] as that seemingly terrible circumstance might be His help in progress and would eventually be something to really be grateful for. If you are still in doubt, ask Joseph in Genesis 41 about the 24hours miracle of repositioning from the prison to the palace or read the entire chapters (just 4 of them!) of the book of Ruth and you will be amazed about how God can use the direst of situations to achieve His redemptive plan for mankind. God is perfect in all ways and really know how to make music out of broken chords. Your situation can never be beyond Him, just cast it all on Him and with a heart of gratitude, be confident that it will end in praise. God’s got it all in control! He is God over all!!

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The good thing about midlife crisis!

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I think the ”crisis” in midlife crisis is what gave it the negative ring oftentimes associated with it. The definition itself does not even help matters. Midlife crisis simply put is a loss of self confidence and feeling of anxiety or disappointment that can occur in early middle age. It is a period of life often characterized by a deep sense of confusion arising from an oftentimes unconscious re-evaluation of one’s life. It is a period when you start to have more questions than answers especially hard ones like ”is this all there is to life? Why am I doing this? What about what I need? Who am I? What is the real point of me? Why put my life off any longer?” As we grow older, things often do not turn out as nicely as we planned. We may not climb up the career ladder as quickly as we wished. Or we do, only to find out that prestige and a high income are not as satisfying as we expected them to be. At the same time, high expectations about the future adjust downwards. Midlife essentially becomes a time of double misery, made up of disappointments and evaporating aspirations. Many could even be obsessed with their own mortality as the realization that time is ticking could lead to depression. Paradoxically, those who objectively have the least reason to complain (e.g. if they have a desirable job) often suffer most. They feel ungrateful and disappointed with themselves particularly because their discontent seems so unjustified. This is often because of the fact that most of them forgot to enjoy the ride on their way up, clinging to the illusion of ”I will have it all when I get there” only to get there and realized the fun is actually in the process of getting to the top. What a wasted life!

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As much as one might want to see midlife crisis as a psychological issue (especially going by the tendencies of those going through it to exhibit certain irrational behaviours such as drastic changes in habits, mood swings, and impulsive decision-making, obsession with appearances etc), there is also the need to realize that it can also be used as a springboard to rediscovering oneself, redefining one’s goals and charting a fresh course towards fulfilling destiny, if properly harnessed. Once you are able to honestly acknowledge and evaluate where you are coming from with or without the help of someone (that may at least help you see your blessings and rid you of that feeling of discontent), you can actually through determination and diligence strive towards getting to where you desire to be and you never can tell, you just might get there!

Making certain changes and taking some decisions early in life may prevent one from having a midlife crisis. When your life is driven by a strong sense of purpose, you become passionate about your dreams and pursuing your goals become fun. People who spend their lives dedicated to fulfilling their aspirations and objectives are less likely to have midlife crisis; growing older is easier for them. Knowing their purpose in life gives them stability. Whatever challenges life throws at them, their passion for what they do keeps them going against all odds. People who changed jobs or take on new challenges before their midlife years had a greater sense of generativity when they reached midlife. They find fulfilment in trying to give back to the society that nurtures them and take pleasure in contributing their own quota towards making the world a better place. For the ”late bloomers” that realized they have missed it and rediscovered purpose in the second half of their lives or those that all of a sudden are not so sure their purpose is actually worthwhile, all hope is not lost. You should first be grateful that you are alive and rather than indulge yourself in the excesses of a full blown midlife crisis, you can actually restrategize and start with what you have. Use new thoughts and ideas to create new goals in a positive way, move outside your comfort zones and seek help if need be. It is better late than never! For the vast majority of us reading this that are not even anywhere near our midlife yet, this is a wake up call that we need to buckle up, do some serious soulsearching and get passionate about why we are here, and for those on the path already, stepping up your game would not be a bad idea at all. A purpose driven, diligent life will definitely have fewer regrets than going through life on autopilot. The autopilot life will inevitably suffer midlife crisis and the second half will most likely be rocky.

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Why you must cultivate a reading culture!

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Success is not just about innate ability. It is combined with a number of key factors such as opportunity, meaningful hard work and your cultural legacy. Random factors of chance, such as when and where you were born can influence the opportunities you have (as asserted by Malcolm Gladwell in his classic book ”Outliers”) in life. How well you succeed and the quality of life you lived will be determined by how you take advantage of the opportunities life presents to you and this in turn is greatly dependent on the kind of ”stuff” you are made of. This so called ”stuff” is simply the sum of your physical, social, emotional and mental well being and if there is one potent means of developing yourself, it is by taking advantage of the ever present wisdom of those who had gone ahead of us and had garnered vital lessons on how to navigate life’s troubled waters. I tell you what, much of these wisdom are very much available in books.

When was the last time you read a book, or a substantial magazine article? Do your daily reading habits center around tweets, Facebook updates, or the directions on your instant food packet? There is a reading genre for every literate person on the planet. Whatever your taste or preference, there is something out there to capture your curiosity and imagination and knowing them would sure make a better you. If you are one of countless people who do not make a habit of reading regularly, you are missing a great deal on a significant number of benefits. Some of those benefits are listed below:

1. Knowledge – Reading is one fantastic way of filling your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. Even if all you read is fiction, you can learn quite a lot about cultural influence, relationships, history, fear, human psychology, the various expressions of spirituality, the effects of war and so on. Branch out into non-fiction, Biographies, history etc and you will learn more about past and current events. Study Philosophy, Psychology, How-to books. Memoirs, Science, Exploration etc and watch your knowledge base broadens. The more knowledge you have, the better equipped you are to tackle life’s challenges and position yourself for greater tomorrow.

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2. Improved writing and speaking skills – Reading published well-written works has a noted effect on one’s own writing, as observing the cadence, fluidity, and writing styles of other authors will invariably influence your own work. Reading is the most painless way to improve your vocabulary, spelling, and grammatical proficiency: the more you read, the more words you gain exposure to and consequently the more articulate and well-spoken you become. Reading is also vital for learning new languages, as non-native speakers gain exposure to words used in context, which will greatly enhance their own speaking and writing fluency.

3. Mental stimulation – Keeping your brain active and engaged prevents it from losing power. Just like any other muscle in the body, the brain requires exercise to keep it strong and healthy, so the phrase “use it or lose it” is particularly apt when it comes to your mind. Reading stretches your mind and have also been found to be helpful with cognitive stimulation.

4. Stronger analytical thinking skills – As you fill your mind with fresh materials from all these books, you become more creative. Creativity is really all about making connections. The creative people in life have a broad database of knowledge and they can make those connections really well. They do not bother keeping the categories separate. They let poetry seep into science. They let faith and history hang out together. They understand, in fact, that all those categorizations are imposed. We put labels on things so that we can feel like we understand them, but sometimes the labels are counterproductive. Reading helps you to fill your mind from as many sources as you want, and then let all of that beautiful stuff mingle and mix in anyway it wants. Have you ever read an amazing mystery novel, and solved the mystery yourself before finishing the book? If so, you were able to put critical and analytical thinking to work by taking note of all the details provided and sorting them out to determine the end game. That same ability to analyze details also comes in handy when it comes to critiquing the plot; determining whether it was a well articulated piece. Should you ever have an opportunity to discuss the book with others, you will be able to state your opinions clearly, as you have taken the time to really consider all the aspects involved. That is how reading nurtures your creativity.

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5. Improved focus and memory – Apart from being able to nurture your creativity, when you read, you have to remember an assortment of characters, their backgrounds, ambitions, history, and nuances, as well as the various arcs and sub-plots that weave their way through every story. Amazingly enough, every new memory you create forges new synapses (brain pathways) and strengthens existing ones, which enhances memory recall as well as improving focus and stabilizing moods.

6. Stress reduction – No matter how much stress you have at work, in your personal relationships, or countless other issues faced in daily life, it all just slips away when you lose yourself in a great book. A well-written novel can transport you to other realms, while an engaging article will distract you and keep you in the present moment, letting tensions drain away and allowing you to relax. In addition to the relaxation that accompanies reading a good book, it is possible that the subject you read about can bring about immense inner peace and tranquility. Reading spiritual texts can lower blood pressure and bring about an immense sense of calm, while reading self-help books has been shown to help people suffering from certain mood disorders and mild mental illnesses.

Reading is truly an essential activity with many benefits. Next time you find yourself with nothing to do, try picking up an interesting book, open your mind and let your imagination run free!

It’s time to let go!

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”If you never say goodbye to the best things in your life, there are things you don’t appreciate at all… Unknown”

Looking back 2016, it has been an awesome year. In spite of the devil, we are here! God has been wonderfully faithful. He showed Himself mighty and strong. The food we eat, His provision and protection. In spite of the recession, He kept us and as much as the year has its ups and downs, we made it thus far.

2017 promises to be a delight! A clean slate, a fresh start. An opportunity to rewrite history and honestly, it’s time to let go of those things we have been clinging to. I mean those things or folks that are holding us down by seemingly making us feel it can’t be done without them. I always tell people that much of what is holding us back is the fear of letting go of the better for the best. We celebrate our little achievements and rather than make them stepping stones, they become our final destination and comfort zones. However, the unfortunate thing about comfort zones is their ability to stagnate us. We think we have arrived and get so complacent that taking on the next challenge become our biggest challenge.

Life will always show you when to act, oftentimes presenting opportunities disguised as challenges. Knowing what to do per time is entirely on you especially because much of the challenges you will encounter will be tailored towards your strengths and passions so two basic ingredients for your succeeding in 2017 will be discernment and determination. Discernment is essential for realizing what needs to the done and when it should be done. The power of timing is so key that a good done at the wrong time might as well have been bad, if not worse. Determination will keep you going against all odds. A determined mind would fall a thousand times and rise again a thousand times. Determination will enable you focus through thick and thin and help you weather the storm every step of the way! I pray the spirit of discernment and the strength to remain dogged be released upon you 2017 and beyond in Jesus name! You will succeed!!!

Common mistakes singles make!

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I was at a meeting recently and as God would have it, I had to talk to a group of young adults about some of the seemingly harmless mistakes I have over the years observed that singles make which eventually became the albatross of most failed marriages. The unfortunate thing is that these issues are so insignificant during courtship that it is so easy to loose sight of them or even outrightly ignore them. Marriage counsellors rarely talk about them. Relationship books are not even helping matters and so the lack of attention has actually been helping these insignificant foxes subtly ruin the marriage vines. It is a burden I have had for a while now and I never hesitate to share them at every available opportunity I get to do so. Let me briefly run through them in this piece and I trust God for positive impact as you flow with me.

1. Read Relationship Books – even pastors recommend them. The point is, the books you read goes to your subconscious and manifest in subtle ways you won’t even realize. You might have consciously forgotten the content but trust me, your brain does not. As much as it very good to read books on marriage and relationships, you really need to read other books too to fully grasp and make use of whatever you think you have learnt in relationship books. There is also the issue of cultural differences that are not often addressed. Most of the usually recommended relationship books are written by foreign authors who might not necessarily be in tune with our customs and socio-economic realities and oftentimes writes from their own experiential perspectives. The ideal thing is to read deep, read wide and meditate. Your brain has the incredible ability to extract, process and make use of complex and even seemingly unrelated knowledge such that it becomes a vital part of you and eventually shapes who you become. It is in these overall and complete knowledge that you can properly contextualize lessons taught and effectively analyse them for optimal use.

2. Assume Love Is A Feeling – someone once said ”the true test of love is commitment” and commitment is the readiness to go all the way, through thick and thin. You do not love people because you feel like it. You sit down, pray and hear God concerning the matter, evaluate yourself, evaluate them, count the cost and then make up your mind to love them no matter what. If you, being human sometimes do things that leaves you disappointed in yourself, you should be prepared to forgive those you love when they fail you. Love is a decision you take with your feelings in tune with reality so as to ensure the permanence of that decision. You have sought God, you have the leading, you have properly evaluated your realities and map out strategies to consciously and unconsciously enjoy your marriage. That’s where your convictions stem from. Once you have it, you can savour the good times and cope with the challenges of married life. Marriage is serious work and you will definitely require more than your feelings to make it work.

3. Ignore The Time Factor – although this often tells more on ladies, it affects men too. We always forget we have no control over times and seasons. We cannot really tell who Mr/Mrs Right would be and when he/she would come knocking, so instead of acting like we already had it all figured out, we need to be open to God’s direction and control. Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand [Proverbs 19:21AMP]. Rather than focus on our own plans and calculations, we should strive to discern what God is telling us concerning our situations so as not to miss His plans and purposes for our lives. Parental influence can also be a contributory factor here. You see cases of parents discouraging or outrightly forbidding their wards (especially female) from being in relationships at a certain age (especially when they are in tertiary institutions) only for these same parents to be asking them about marriage plans immediately after graduation. Parents need to model good examples and help guide their children correctly rather than dish out rules and then leave them to the mercy of peer pressure and the mass media.

4. Problem Of Expectations – it is really good to have standards and desire the best life has to offer but it’s a known fact that those who truly enjoy marriage are those that went into it focussing more on what they will give than what they will get. Giving is one sure attribute of love [John 3:16]. When you genuinely love someone, you always want and strive for what is best for them. You care so much about them that giving comes natural to you. Besides, the giver is a seed sower and because the law of sowing and reaping always applies, whatever you sow get multiplied back to you. If your focus is on how to be a blessing to your partner, it is a guarantee that you will in turn be blessed in multiple folds. True love is never self seeking [1Corinthians 13:5]

5. Confuse Romance With Friendship – this is essentially why cohabitation is wrong. Your romantic involvement oftentimes blindsided you to red flags like family [e.g in-law issues], medical [e.g blood group and genotype issues] and financial [liberal or conservative] compatibility. You have too much of pecking, necking and sometimes sex that you do not have time to really know each other. You get married and a few months down the line, the honeymoon is over and then it dawned on you that you barely knew each other. Even your circle of friends become difficult to reconcile because you have fail to get acquainted with them when you should have done so. Friendship matters a whole lot in marriage because you will practically be spending the rest of your lives with each other so please do not get carried away by the romance, it is a sure recipe for disaster.

6. Fail To Marry Vision – it is ideal that married people have visions that complement each other especially because marriage is a phase that people tend to evolve and could sometimes ‘loose’ themselves. Although, it happens to men too, women in this part of the world tend to be greatly affected especially because she is expected to key into her husband’s vision even if it has no correlation with her personal purpose in life. She has to practically relinquish who she was and what she is about except it conform to that of her hubby. Passions, hobbies etc and oftentimes friends (except the ones the husband had known and become comfortable with) all gone except there is a determined effort to sustain them which is much easier to do if it complements the husband’s vision than if it does not. The upside is that hidden potentials and talents can also be discovered in the process but the more prevalent downside is that people become square pegs in round holes, practically living out someone else’s dreams. It is not just enough to marry someone with a vision, it should be a vision you can live with without losing yourself.

7. Fail To Give Their Life To Christ – we oftentimes fail to realize we need to be born again for the Holy Spirit to dwell in us. The Holy Spirit has been sent through Christ to teach us all things [But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26KJV]. I always tell people that the Holy Spirit can actually teach you things way beyond your imagination or experience that you will be manifesting profound and astounding wisdom. When you give your life to Christ and get baptized in the Holy Spirit, He guards, guides and order your steps. You operate in the supernatural and your discernment is so sharp that taking decisions become stress free. I tell you what, choosing a life partner is still best done under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It’s the surest way to have a regret free choice!

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